Mommy Artist Artist Mommy Pt 2

During Covid times, some things didn’t change much for our family. I was already homeschooling our kids, so there was no change with that, and we were already home bodies, but this was another level of home body even for us! One thing that was very different was that everyone I knew seemed to be delving into their creative self. People were looking for things to do, and not only things to do, but things to do together. It felt like the world had turned into a giant supportive art community.

I decided that I would start focusing on making art as a way of helping others discover their creative side. I did live painting sessions on Facebook and Instagram for whoever wanted to participate, and a friend reached out about making a video for YouTube about nature journaling. I had been nature journalling for myself as a way to spend hours each day watching birds, and then discovered that it was my favorite way to journal.

I spend more time now drawing my kids.

It was also during this time, that I wasn’t the only one having to try to figure out working from home with kids. Every parent was in the same boat, and somehow that made it feel like a huge weight was lifted off of me to compare myself to others. All of us were struggling in some way or another and my mentality changed from “poor me” to “we can do this”.

Now say what you will about social media in general, visual art needs to be where people can see it, and people see things online. I have always had a love/hate relationship with social media. It’s hard to keep up with it, I get sucked into comparing myself with other artists, and it feels like I never fit in with any particular audience. Also, I have a hard time being myself knowing that family and friends will see how weird I am. When I started making TikToks, I wasn’t making them for anyone I knew. This was a game changer for me. I curated a small audience on that platform that really got me. I made several artist friends on that app, too, whom I still cherish. It taught me that the quality of views, the people who really want to see my art, are more important than quantity of views. I don’t need everyone to see my artwork (kind of a scary thought, actually!). I just need a small group of people who really like what I’m trying to do creatively.

Making short 15 second videos helped me to get outside of my comfort zone in a big way. I never thought I could film and edit a YouTube channel. Now I do that! I never thought I could act silly in a video online without dwelling negatively on it for months, but now I can do that! I never thought I would settle on an art style that was uniquely me and have enough art on hand to make a portfolio, but I have!

My youngest child is now 8 years old. Before, I felt like I needed a “room of one’s own” in order to make anything worthwhile. Now I collaborate with an 8 year old on a regular basis in a very small shared space. Much of my worry and stress about being able to work as an artist and parent children was about this idea of what success is. In my mind, success meant making a steady income and being able to work in private to do so. In reality, a successful day is a day where negative feelings haven’t kept me from making art. That means that I can only worry so much about a child being in the room, or my husband working from home right next to me, or someone accidentally messing up a painting. We are all navigating this life together as a family, and a family is a creative endeavor in and of itself. I let the bills and laundry pile up and let life be in a shambles for a bit. My art is messy, chaotic, and beautiful like my life.

-Suzette